TABLE
OF CONTENTS
Women’s Wisdom
Nancy’s Growing and Knowing
Sharon's Goings and Showings
WOW! Forum
WOW! to WOW!
Websites of Interest
Closing Notes
*~~~*~~~*~~~*
Women’s Wisdom:
“We can
allow disappointments, illnesses or injustices to clip our
wings or to be the wind beneath them. The choice is ours.”
Linda McNamar
“I want
to respond to the brain washing that has resulted from
believing in the calendar.”
Walter Starcke
“The
great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all
the other ages you’ve been.”
Madeleine L’Engle
“Once
committed, Once we try, Who can say? We may fly!
Nancy Garland
*~~~*~~~*~~~*
Nancy’s Growing and Knowings:
How much
do you believe in the calendar? The one that marks how old
you are? How much do those aging markers affect you?
For
years I’ve been telling you and anyone else who would
listen: “Those aging myths are just that, myths.” I’ve got
to ‘fess up. I was talking the talk, I thought I was walking
the walk—but I wasn’t. I bought into “older means I’ve lost
it.”
No more!
This understanding is new. I’m still grappling with it. I
don’t have the perspective time will bring, but I have to
tell you now. Like a five-year-old who rushes to tell her
mom about an amazing discovery, I rush to you. Read with
compassion.
Some
scene-setting is needed. While a not-dry-behind-the-ears
representative of my retired teacher’s association answered
my questions about long-term care, I caught one, then two,
then three flashes of intuition, saying, “I should sell this
product. I can do it better.”
Crazy?
Absolutely! However, I found myself saying to the nice young
man, “This is a great program. I should sell it.” We both
laughed. Then he said, “I’ll call you after the holidays and
we’ll talk. I thought, “Ha! I bet.”
Guess
the last laugh is his. He called, we talked, all was well
and then he told me about the process. Week long school?
State life and health insurance test? My intuition flashes
hadn’t mentioned any of that. Studying, learning completely
new information, passing a difficult test—at my age?
Fear
jumped on me full force. As I slept new ideas came to me.
The next morning as I sipped my hot tea and did my
journaling, I realized just how much fear I was
experiencing. Then I found myself writing, “This is not
about me, not about passing or failing. This is about
trusting my intuition, taking the next step and believing
something good will come.”
My
mantra became, “It’s not about whether I pass or fail, it’s
about being brave enough to take the next step."
I
repeated the mantra through days of study and hours of
testing. (Oh, was I relieved to pass.) Then came the
week-long, way-too-many-hours-a-day school to learn what I
really needed to know to advise people on long-term care. I
still repeated the mantra. As I took the pop-tests and gave
the memorized information while being video-taped, I
repeated the mantra. When the oh-so-young instructor told me
I reminded him of his grandmother, I smiled through gritted
teeth and repeated the mantra.
When it
was finished I was dragging, but not with my tail between my
legs. I had qualified—actually done better than some much
younger. When I got home I dragged myself and my suitcase
into my condo, depleted but triumphant. After 12—maybe
14—straight hours of sleep, again with my first cup of tea
and my journal, I realized I’d stepped and mantra-ed my way
through myths of aging I didn’t even know were wedged in my
brain.
After
fifty my intuition and understanding that this was not about
me, grew. Without that nudge from my intuition and the
long-time practice of journaling, my fear of failure would
have stopped me before I got started. The unrecognized
brainwashing would keep repeating: “AT MY AGE, I can’t
compete with the younger crowd. I can’t learn. I can’t
remember. I sure can’t memorize.” Yes, there are changes as
we age, and they are real. I don’t remember as well as I did
once. So what? I do tire more quickly than when I was twenty
years younger. So what? If I challenge myself, if I shut
down the fear of failure, if I take the next step(s), the
insidious, subtle and destructive brainwashing recedes.
Maybe
you knew this all along. Maybe not. Maybe some reading this
will pick a mantra and blow an aging myth or two out of
their mind. Maybe someone’s risk will lead the way for
another. Maybe we will all remember it’s not about our
success or failure, it’s about replacing our fears so we can
trust, use and experience the gifts of aging.
*~~~*~~~*~~~*
Sharon’s Goings and Showings:
Is it me
or are the weeks flying by faster than they used to?
Fiesta is almost here and I am still finding things to do
and events we might want to see. We are getting tickets to
see a Cuban Band at the unbelievably beautiful theatre, THE
MAJESTIC, one night. This will make us all feel like dancing
in the isles, I am sure. I wish you could all be here with
us to celebrate this really festive event that San Antonio
does so well every year. This is an enormous charity fund
raising event for our city. One thing San Antonio does well
is throw a party! All of you who wanted to come but for
whatever reason could not.......mark you calendar now for
next year and plan to attend.
I have been on a walking campaign to get ready for Spain. It
is only FIVE months away and I plan to be in shape! This
trip is going to be a fact finding mission to find fabulous
and inexpensive travel options for all of you who want
adventure but don't want to spend thousands of dollars on a
tour. I am also planning an Italy trip for next
year....email me if you want to ‘do’ Italy.
Sharon@wiseolderwomen.com .
If anybody out there has some great travel plans......please
let me know about them.
For now, I am living in gratitude for being 64. It is so
comforting to me to KNOW life is what I make it and I do
create my reality!
*~~~*~~~*~~~*
WOW!
Forum:
From
Rita Clark:
The new
newsletter is SUPERB! Just filled with all kinds of goodies.
Let's see, since you've been back from the cruise you've had
another trip AND put together a huge newsletter for us - I
do admire your energy and creativity. Keep up the great
work.
From
Sylvia Sproat:
I
laughed until I cried over the woman, the ice cream cone and
Paul Newman.
Nancy, you do an absolutely incredible job with this
newsletter. I can't begin to tell you how impressed I am. I
don't know how you have time to do anything else, but
obviously you are doing it...even swimming with the
dolphins. Now that is something that I have always wanted to
do as well, but am terrified of water, since I can't swim.
Well, thanks for the pictures...I got to do it vicariously.
I want to go to some of the Fiesta Events with you all this
year. One year, a friend and I went to every event and had a
blast. Haven't been to any of it in a long time....what a
shame.
From Barbara Harris:
The Family Quilt
A quilter carefully selects fabric pieces to stitch together
a patchwork quilt.
Person by person folks come together that’s how a family is
built.
No two pieces of the quilter’s work are ever exactly the
same.
This is true of family members who are only alike in name.
Just as the differences in the squares give a quilt its
personality.
The difference in each one of our kin embellishes the family
tree.
As the quilter quilts the layers together the threads give
the quilt its strength.
The threads that bind our family together are love, and
duty, and faith.
A quilt is protection against the cold and a link between
yesterday and tomorrow.
A family is protection from our loneliness and a comfort in
times of sorrow.
A quilt is created with a special plan to produce a useful
work of art.
God planned the family to anchor society and we all must do
our part.
Some weaker pieces in the quilt may begin to age and
weather.
But the stronger pieces and the quilter’s stitches will hold
the quilt together.
Not every member of the family will step up and do his duty.
But the family in which there is harmony, like a quilt, is a
thing of beauty.
From
Shirley Haight, One Hot Granny:
Try not
to be envious of my experience in this darling little black
convertible sports car, a 350 Z Nissan or something like
that (we can't remember).
One does not, especially if you are a person of size, get
into this little two-seater. One puts it on, about like
putting a 3x size into a size small girdle.
First, you must turn with your butt towards the seat,
slightly bending down till you feel the wonderful security
that it’s about to come in contact with sweet genuine
leather. Be care tho, as the seat has a deep crevice, they
call them bucket seats, a size 48 butt kinda squeezes or
rolls into the crevice, with fat hanging over the sides,
making it hard to fasten the seat bell or adjust anything on
the right side. Once one gets it on, you’re in, and it's far
more comfortable than one would think!
Next, you will want to touch the gas pedal very lightly or
else you will be in orbit in or at least going from zero to
100 MPH in two seconds flat! Don't even think you can just
get out and put gas in it. You must have a doctorate in
gadgets to do that. If you are lucky you will find a kind
young person who will help you figure out how to do this.
Otherwise, there’s the concern of hitting the wrong button
and having the top fly up and down! At our age we don't want
to be riding around in a convertible with the top down, the
wind could give us a cold, cause Bell's Palsy and at the
least, blow one’s hair.
My biggest concern was that people would think two old
people would have the audacity to buy such a car. So
everywhere I went I explained that this is not our car, this
is our chadult's car. They are on Spring Break and needed a
car which would hold two suitcases and carry-ons to take to
the airport. Only a chadult would buy such a car. When I was
that age, I certainly would have thought I had died and gone
to heaven to have such a car. My little dear
daughter-in-love looks so cute when she comes whirling into
my drive way in this Z, a delight to behold!
I drove this car for a week, it really was so much fun.
Actually I will see you later as I'm off to trade in our
Honda CRX for a "Z'. I will be the envy of all the
blue-haired casserole warriors!
*~~~*~~~*~~~*
WOW! to WOW!
From Brooke Brownlow:
Mammograms!
Many
women are afraid of their first mammogram,
but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each
day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following
exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and
best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and
around your home.
EXERCISE ONE:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door.
Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for
good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case
the first time wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE TWO:
Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement
floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie
comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the
rear tire of the
car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your
breast is
sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat
with the other breast.
EXERCISE THREE:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist.
Invite a
stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of
your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an
appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it
again.
NOW, YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!
From Pat Gordon and Shirley Haight:
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxipads for over
20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why,
without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd
probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd
certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in
tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your
revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company
smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be
aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel
each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever
suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my
time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can
already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my
body.
Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be
transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred
hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no
doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens
during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'.
Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and
cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swing s,
crying, jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely
realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last
week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove
her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just
because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by
a bunch of drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that
America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri
pants... Which brings me tothe reason for my letter. Last
month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted
to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an
Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing,
were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you freaking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part
of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness-
actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a
menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the
least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless
you're some kind of sick S&M freak
girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in
which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and
lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to
the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a
sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just
have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it
make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent,
like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is
Wrong', Are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that,
effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly
profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business
elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings,
I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending
bulls**t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX
From Delia Rodriquez:
For
Texas voters:
When the lawmakers voted for a one-third reduction in school
property taxes beginning in 2006 and to be completed this
year, they forgot about the homestead exemption for senior
citizens and people with disabilities. The state
constitution caps school property taxes for homeowners 65
years and older and those who are disabled. However, they
DID NOT get the same reduction when the property tax cut for
schools was voted on two years ago. So an amendment is on
the May ballot to correct this error.
Vote in May to keep the Homestead tax cap for 65 and over,
even if you are not 65 yet. If you are a Texas homeowner,
then this is important to you. If not, it is important to
your friends who are.
From Marcy Barnes:
When I
am an old woman....
Warning
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats and things in
boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
Jenny Joseph
From Laurie Powell:
Remember...a layer of dust protects the wood beneath it.
A house becomes a home when you can write "I love you" on
the furniture.
I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure
things were just perfect - "in case someone came over".
Finally I realized one day that no-one came over; they were
all out living life and having fun!
NOW,
when people visit, I don't have to explain the "condition"
of my home. They are more interested in hearing about the
things I've been doing while I was away living life and
having fun. If you haven't figured this out yet, please heed
this advice.
Life is
short. Enjoy it!
Dust if you must .......
but wouldn't it be better to paint a picture or write a
letter,
bake cookies or a cake and lick the spoon or plant a seed,
ponder the difference between want and need?!
Dust if you must,
but there's not much time . . with beer to drink, rivers to
swim and mountains to climb, music to hear and books to
read, friends to cherish and life to lead.
Dust if you must,
but the world's out there with the sun in your eyes,
the wind in your hair,
a flutter of snow, a shower of rain.
This day will not come around, again.
Dust if you must ,
but bear in mind, old age will come and it's not kind. . .
And when you go - and go you must - you, yourself will make
more dust!
*~~~*~~~*~~~*
Websites of Interest:
WOW! Wise Older Women! website is:
www.wiseolderwomen.com
Learn about WOW!’s origins, subscribe to our
newsletter and get the details for the coming travel events.
Treat
yourself to the delightful website of our very own editor:
www.ramonajohn.com.
From
Marcy Barnes and Debbie Holt:
You’ve
seen it here before, but we all need a reminder so check
this out:
YouTube - IBC: Inflammatory Breast Cancer news story
From Marcy Barnes:
Click on to reach a human.... gethuman ...
http://gethuman.com/
This site gives you the numbers to speak to a human for
hundreds of companies.
From Shirley Haight:
Did you know the Bible has a special verse for everyone’s
birthday? Look yours up here:
www.birthverse.com/mybirthverse.cfm
From Len Wheeler:
I'm
gonna live forever, says the music and this test, to 100.7,
and my real age is 49.3! What's yours?
http://www.embedtube.com/uploads/33101407Realage.swf
From Janice Holloway:
Profound
Thoughts from The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
Randy is a professor of computer science. He is dying of
pancreatic cancer. The Last Lecture can be viewed online at
www.parade.com . He has
also written a book with the same title.
Dare to Take a Risk
In a virtual-reality course I taught, I encouraged students
to attempt hard things and not worry about failing. At the
end of the semester, I presented a stuffed penguin—“The
First Penguin Award”—to the team that took the biggest
gamble while not meeting its goals. The award came from the
idea that when penguins jump in water that might have
predators, well, one of them’s got to be the first penguin.
In essence, it was a prize for “glorious failure.”
Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you
wanted. And it can be the most valuable thing you have to
offer.
*~~~*~~~*~~~*
From
Judith Helburn, Sageing Guild Coordinating Circle Chair:
Changing
the Paradigm from Aging to Sage-ing... One Story at a Time.
June 13-15, 2008. University of Dayton & the Sage-ing Guild,
Dayton, Ohio.
www.sage-ingguild.org/conference .
Conference@sage-ingguild.org . Bringing together those
who feel kinship in working towards a vital, conscious
elderhood.
*~~~*~~~*~~~*
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